The summer is a letdown because you ask too much of it. Three consecutive days of clement weather is too much pressure to put on this country.
Watermelons are only good when you can buy them in slices. Buying a whole watermelon and storing it in your fridge will only lead to its eventual demise at the hands of decomposition, because it is so daunting an item due to its sheer volume that you’ll never actually make the first move and cut off a piece.
Wasps really don’t give a shit about you and will ignore you if you don’t flap about. They will however try and swim in your Champagne. This is just a fact. Are you telling me that if there was a vat of bubbly in your back garden then you wouldn’t take a swim in it? C’mon.
Pigeons are fine. They aren’t doing you any harm and they are essentially working as unpaid volunteers for local council’s by cleaning up your food that you threw on the floor. Stop calling them rats with wings. Every time you say that it makes me think of actual rats with actual wings and that is terrifying because they are so much bigger in my imagination then they are in real life.
Tomato ketchup is boring and Brown Sauce is loads better, so there.
I first stumbled across the bad lip reading crew when they took Rebbeca Black’s “Friday” and turned it into the semi-decent tune “Gang fight”.
Basically what they do is look at the artist in the video and put lyrics to the movement of the lips. Of course they’re miles away from what they are actually singing but thats where the fun is. This one needed some attention from the masses I felt- Good old Michael Buble taking a step out of his comfort zone. Don’t forget to turn on the captions to see the lyrics. Very clever boys.
Oh look- Buble even replied:
Occasionally people have really good Facebook status’. So good that I’m starting a thread on here just for them. Here is your starter for 10:
PLEASE put this as your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by pandas. Pandas are nearly unstoppable & when hungry, also breathe fire. 71% of people won’t copy this into their status because they have already been eaten by pandas, 28% are hiding in their cupboards.
