…and maybe this might actually happen.
Every once in a while over here at quiteenjoy, we get a little excited about something. It could be a live bee in a bag of salad (less than positive excitement), a picture of a duck wearing a bowler hat (more overwhelmingly joyous than you could possibly imagine), perhaps even a five pence piece on the floor outside the office (invariably glued down so that we can’t retrieve it).
However, all of these things can be surpassed in an instant when something of genuine, raw, outstanding beauty is dropped in our laps…
…and today, that happened. Clicky Clicky, already.
I invite you to view this truly spectacular and heart-wrenchingly emotive video piece by a man I so desperately wish actually was related to me… but sadly, isn’t. Tom Jenkins who is the (deep breath) Producer, Animator, Cameraman, Lighting Operator, Editor and Grader (phew) of this wonderful stop-motion animation, is also co-founder and creative director of The Theory. These guys have an impressive body of work on display where commercial and corporate ventures are concerened, but if this film is anything to go by; they have a deservedly bright future ahead of them. It may very well turn out to be my favourite short film of the year… and, yes, that includes ours.
Bugger.
Fay kindly pointed me to an app that turns any spoken words into an auto-tuned song! So i thought it only right that I abuse it…. enjoy (quite).
With Photoshop comes great power…and with great power comes a horrible abuse of said power.
What we have here are 5 of the worst Photoshop disaster movie posters that I could dig out of the recesses of the internet. Its not a top 5 by any means so the order is irrelevant…they’re all awful in their own rite.
5. All About Steve
I’m pretty sure that if you replaced the umbrella in Sandra Bullocks hand with a machete and put bars between her and the other characters then you’d…still have a shit poster. Where is she looking? And which one is supposed to be Steve? The Aisan guy? Or maybe the umbrella.
4. Bad Lieutenant
Right, I’m not letting you get away with that just because you’re Russian, or whatever (says the ignorant English man)! First off it looks like Cage is holding his gun by the barrel and they have just painted on the bullet opening to hide their mistake. Second of all what has happened to that poor girls body?! Looks like she’s been turned into a mannequin from the neck down. And isn’t her head a tad to large boys? Inexcusable rubbish- any poster that makes it look like a giant Nicolas Cage is crumbling into dust while cops look “not that bothered” in the foreground gets an instant F in my book.
3: The Accidental husband
Surely putting this monstrosity together would have been more effort than actually shooting that shot for real. It wouldn’t have taken five seconds on the set. But no- what we have here is a generic kit of body parts arranged lovingly in photoshop to portray this lovely scene. Who approves these things- I mean just look at Thurman’s neck for Christs sake! It looks like shes been wearing a tribal neck piece for 5 years that has stretched and abnormal thickened it. Look at the awkward stock hand tapping her on the shoulder- then take a look at the other hand attached to his body. now try it yourself- put your arms in those positions and see how natural it seems. Colin Firth Clearly loves a bit of Thurman’s ears because he cant take his eyes off it. But that’s OK, he’s just smitten with a woman that has finally fallen in love with his massive dis-located hands and tiny plastic head.
2: Takers
Taking the piss more like! What is this?! Were NONE of the actors actually available for this shoot? Or were the facial expressions so terrible you resorted to that piss ass poor windows cloud application (you’ve all seen the ad right? If not: SEE IT HERE). Also what kind of lighting genius did they have to achieve that effect on their faces? Check out how one guy has a shadow on the right of his face while the guy standing RIGHT NEXT TO HIM has it on the right! Genius! Thats impressive….and shit. Oh and Hadien christian is in the poster which is the worst thing of all-.
1- Over her dead body
You should never, ever,ever,ever have anyone on your promotional poster lying over the title of your film. Especially is that person is clearly NOT the actress that’s in the film. Now I dont know how many of you have seen desperate housewives but that slender lengthy strawberry blond princess on the title is none other than Eva Longoria. Not the tallest of ladies by my recollection. By the looks of this one theyve taken a still from Desperate housewives and matted the face of Eva’s character on to a barbie doll.
Technology will be our un-doing.