On my way home this evening I became amazed by the lack of common sense in London.
It is a stupid idea too..:
-Congregate, on mass and wait for your friends on the stairs down to Oxford Circus underground station.
-Walk in one big, slow, pavement spanning line with your friends then stop to point at things suddenly.
-pushing infront of fast walkers on the underground escalators only to stop in front of them to adjust your headphones.
-Getting in my way, generally.
Right. Rant done, time for a curry. It is national curry week after all!
Not being one to make rash judgements myself it will come as no surprise to the rest of you when I say that the Daily Mail has done something dumb. On their website today you can be part of nationwide research into “how young is to young for kids to have TV in their bedroom”. What useful results can be determined from this study though is a mystery to me as the only options you are given are “Yes” or “No”. Vote now!
Make sure you sign up today! Mind you from this advert I’m not exactly sure what it is you’d be signing up to. Or indeed who it is you need to contact to sign up.
Stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW and listen up. A technological breakthrough of supreme magnitude has just been bought to my attention. While prep-boys and graduates piffle about with trying to expand the human race’s reach into unknown space there are a select group of Americans dedicated to fixing the problems right here at home. Ever had all your lightbulbs blow in your living room because your fat ass couldn’t reach them to change them? At that precise moment has the worlds fattest man competition started on the other channel on TV? What are you to do? I mean you can’t possibly see the remote to flick the channel right? WRONG! Now you can! You can get this magic little gadget that literally sucker onto the end of said remote and, with the flick of a thumb, illuminate the buttons. I just had to share the good news – I’m off to buy not just the three they offer for an incredible $19.99 (you’d spend more than that in lightbulbs, right? Not to mention the money you’re saving in electricity for some fine, quality, fried chicken meals) but one for each member of my family. That way we need never inconvenience ourselves with electric lighting again!
…Douchbags.
It seems medical practitioners have had it wrong all these years. Say goodbye to hospitals and doctors, just tap yourself better. Does this work in increments though? So this woman talks about tapping a headache away, so does that mean that someone with asthma needs a slap? If so does that mean someone with a missing limb needs a smack in the face? I can’t see anything wrong in this thinking at all. Flawless.